Today is a crazy day and I’ve seen a lot of them. I don’t even know really what to say and debated about posting anything but I asked Racheal if I should and she said yes so here it goes. This day a year ago I was broken and tired. I took a late train to rockaway to end it all. It wasn’t a bad thing I have been ready for it for a while. I just thought my path was done. And I’ll spare you the details of how and all that business. In the final moment though I had a conversation with the creator or creation itself. We spoke at great lengths of why I’ve seen the horrors I’ve seen (a lot people glamorize hells angels and Wild West culture but come sit with me and I’ll tell you things you wouldn’t believe) and losing so many beautiful people even tho we never really lose them… anyways. I’ve also seen the tremendous beauty which is all of you everyday. In that moment which I can’t even describe because I was far beyond the line. We decided together to give one more year and see what happens. And to live that year without the weight and pain and an almost not caring approach with fresh new eyes. And in that year I’ve met so many beautiful people and done so many beautiful things. Now I have such great music coming out. Going into to record a beautiful ep where I’m truly honest for the first time. Was gifted to play bass in the
@gnarcissists and make an amazing record which your gonna hear and almost watch
@m_att_i_ die as well. Saw Brendan finally live his dream with
@gonzos.studios . See
@thereal1366 making his music. So many weird DJ sets. Thank you bar owners! Also I see the world getting darker and darker into chaos, but for the first time in my life I’m ready to wake up tomorrow and to do work that needs to be done for myself. Which is beauty and music because it’s all I can do. But I get it through all of you :) either way I’ll probably delete this post soon but I wanted to share this moment so I can get it off my chest. And to anyone out there that is thinking of the end. You can always give up or live another day and see what happens. Also suicide is a strength not a weakness and we need to change the way we look at people’s struggles. Now let’s create 🌹