Our dearest darling, our miracle baby, who loves the world so much he joined it two months early, is one. How could we have known a year ago when I was rushed into surgery how much would change, forever, for the better. Those first long months in the NICU, the nurses hovering over you like angels, tearing ourselves away each evening to sleep, waking to pump in the dark while looking at pictures of you on my phone, all 4lbs 4oz of you already so beautiful, crossing the bridge back early each morning to witness your nature unfurling in that warm hospital room, your tenacity and sweetness, a nurse telling us that everything you needed to know about the dignity of the human spirit could be learned watching a premature baby fight to live, to grow.
Then finally home, too cold to go outside, nesting in bed, marveling at your long eyelashes and tiny hands, wondering if I’d ever have time to wash my hair again, night feeds, your gentle snuffles as I read books on kindle, longing for sleep but also never wanting those tender hours to end.
Spring brought your first smiles, your first cold, your first nanny, the godsend Elsa, our first book tour together, exhaustion and elation in equal measure, the wonderful weight of you growing heavier in our arms.
Summer was music classes in the park, rubbing sunscreen into your delicious rolls, your impressive appetite for our painstakingly made purees, yes, but also flowers, the bottom of shoes, a tube of toothpaste left within reach. The delight of your giggly gurgles, your funny bunny sense of humour, the way you catch eyes with strangers, enchanted, and enchanting them in turn.
In autumn you climbed on everything, found your feet beneath you, beamed with joy on the playground at every other child. Henry and I laugh that you’ve never had stranger danger, are too curious about everything and everyone to worry much where mummy and daddy are. I hope that never changes, your fearless love of this life, which has made me love it more too. How could I not, my one, my only, my Indigo Sky, when it brought me you 🩵