I wish I could write this in chalk so it could be washed away by the rain, instead it feels like ink; Indelible, permanent, scarred into the cortex, the memory, the ethos of what we are gonna be from here on out. I wish I could uplift, i wish I could reprogram our collective memory with joy...
I can’t wish it all away, though. Cause the memories, good and bad, are pretty much all we will have left of this year whether we choose to admit it or not. I wish I could have seen more of you. I wish I could have averted my eyes to the destruction, to the loses, to the pain. But I can’t do that, I can’t ignore lives. I can’t ignore me and you, and the ones that are gone. I can’t sleep without the memory of you, I can’t live without your last name? I can’t wake up to a bad call. I can’t be scared of the phone ringing. I could be awake when you call. I will be here when you aren’t. I can’t wait to sit at a bar with you, alone, together. I cannot wait to realize the friends we became, the friends we have yet to understand, the lives we are still living, the New York that won’t forget, the east village I dislike, the st marks we love. The people that we will become, the first year of our lives.
The next January,
The beginning,
The first drink,
Of the rest of our lives
Love ya all!!
Happy new year!